Thursday, 12 February 2009


Friends of Mihir Bose were yesterday mounting an anxious vigil outside his home, as the BBC sports editor, entered a second night trapped in a wardrobe. The 61-year old broadcaster has been locked in the wardrobe in his bedroom since Friday night.
So far all attempts to free him have failed. Emergency services now fear that unless he is released quickly, Bose could suffocate on his own farts!

It is thought that Bose may have entered the wardrobe on Tuesday evening, looking for a magic far away land, after being inspired by the C S Lewis, Narnia books. His mother Edna Bose, told reporters: "I began reading the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to Mihir as his bedtime story and he became quite excited at the part where Lucy enters the wardrobe and the fur coats turn into trees.

"He kept asking me if there was a Narnia behind the suits in the wardrobe," she added.

Mrs Bose discovered her sons predicament when he failed to come down for his coco pops the following morning, "He never misses his coco pops" she continued, "That's when I knew something had happened".

"I went into his room to get him up, but he wasn't in his bed. Then I heard muffled cries from his wardrobe. I tried to open it up, but found that the door was stuck fast, and the handle came off in my hand. I was worried because Mihir had had meatballs in Chicken tonight sauce for his tea the night before, and that always makes him a bit Windy"!

Unable to free her award winning sports pundit son, Mrs Bose called the Fire Brigade., but when they arrived they too were unable to get the wardrobe open. Two officers tried to force the door using a butter knife from the kitchen, but it bent. Two other firemen removed the mirror from the front, in the hope of finding another way in, but they discovered it was solid wood behind.

Following the unsuccessful rescue attempts, Chief Fire Officer, Cuthbert Flack, flanked by his team, Pugh,Pugh, Barley and McGrew, read a statement to the press gathered outside Bose's West London home. Looking tired and Drawn, he told reporters-
"I can confirm that a 61 year old man is trapped inside a wardrobe at this address. He is not in any imminent danger of injury, but he has been eating spicy Chicken Tonight, and there is a risk that his flatulence could build up to a level that might endanger his life, in such a confined space".

Firefighters last night were still attempting to remove Bose from his wardrobe, although hopes of a successful outcome were said to be fading fast. "We are doing everything we can, but it is only a matter of time before Mihir succumbs to his own toxic gasses," Flack added.

Meanwhile BBC bosses were believed to be discussing the possibility of adapting Bose's plight into a Saturday evening game show format. I'M A CELEBRITY GET MIHIR OUT OF THERE!
Which will feature a variety of stars coming up with hair brained schemes to free the bespectacled sports editor from his wardrobe prison, before he suffocates on his own farts.

Mihirs mother Edna was in favour of the proposed light entertainment show, adding"Its what he would have wanted, he is a true pro to the end".

Viewers will get the chance to vote for their favourite in a very expensive, rigged telephone pole.

Should any of my legions of Blog followers be interested or indeed care, I would be more than thrilled to read your suggestions as to the confined spaces catastrophe, and ways of securing Mihirs release.

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